The Other Family

My parents divorced when I was 2.  Not a big deal – it was for the good of all especially me.  My dad could take me whenever he wanted; there was never a set schedule as to when he could see me.  He always had me for Christmas Eve and for part of Easter.  He would take me to my grandmother’s where we would spend the day with my aunts and their families.

My dad died of lung cancer when I was 13 years old.  It was the summer before I started the 8th grade.  My grandmother (his mother) died 8 months later of cancer also.  After that I lost all communications with his side of the family until my aunt called me when I was 16 years old to tell me that my other aunt had passed away.  I attended the wake and funeral and that was pretty much the last time I have see or spoken to any of them.

I have tried numerous times to contact them.  First when I graduated from high school.  No response.  Next when I got my undergrad.  No response.  Masters degree – no response.  Okay, you would think I would get the hint but no.  I figured I would try again one last time.  I sent them a “Save the Date” magnet for my wedding.  I actually got a response but not the one that I thought I would get.

Last night we got our first and only “Return to Sender” out of the 100+ magnets I sent out.  It was addressed to my uncle (care of his son and daughter-in-law).  On the envelope it said “Return to Sender – Deceased”.  I didn’t know what to do or say.  First of all, I put a letter in all of them that indicated to contact me by calling or emailing me if there were any changes or anything was incorrect.  Don’t you think they would call or email this information to me?  Secondly, why the hell did they not contact me when he died?  

It is apparent that this family doesn’t care about me.  I don’t know what I ever did to them.  I tried to keep in contact but I don’t think it is up to a 13 year old girl to have to make all the effort.  16 years later I am still making the effort.  I will send the wedding invitations but I am 99.9% sure they will not come.  After that I am done trying.  This is the last time I make any attempt to contact them.

I am treated with more love from my stepfather and his family than I ever was from my own family (with the exception of my dad).  Heck, my in-laws-to-be treat me better than my own family.  Their loss not mine.