Breakdown

It happened again.  We were having such a great evening and then one of my emotional outbreaks ruined it and now he is barely talking to me.  I am not sure what to do to fix any of this and even if I did I am not sure it would work.

Last night he asked if he could go on a trip with a few of his friends.  “Sure, where are you going?”  Daytona….”Well I guess so.”  Now most people would be happy about their significant other goes on a trip and normally I would be to but not this time.  The reason – I wanted to be the person he went to Florida with for the first time.

I know that is a stupid reason but it is true.  We have been talking about going for months and then we decided to put it on hold due to losing the tenants in the house in Texas.  Now all of a sudden the boys are going to watch cars go around a track (which I really don’t understand) and it is okay to go without me?

I think another part of the problem is that I am jealous.  I don’t have friends here to do things like that with.  Actually I don’t have any friends here at all.  This is starting to be a big problem for the both of us.  He is starting to feel bad about wanting to go out with the guys because that means I will be sitting at home alone.  He keeps saying that is why he wants me to find a job here.

I have been trying to find a job but it is so hard to work into the daily routine.  I am also afraid of starting a new job while I am planning the wedding and need the flexibility to go home and do wedding stuff whenever I can or want.  If I start a new job they are not going to be so willing to let me do this and also I will be leaving here in about a year and a half due to his tour being completed.

So I guess it all boils down to I need to find a way to make some friends down here and quickly.  The big question is how I go about doing that!!