A Weekend of Fun

I am getting away for the weekend. I am meeting my mom and a bunch of ladies in Pittsburgh for a bowling tournament. Yes, a bowling tournament. There will be more drinking than bowling - believe me. I am looking forward to hanging out with some people I know and letting loose. After the emotional roller coaster I have been on this week it will be nice to have some fun.

I am a little nervous about going though. With everything that has happened this week in my relationship with Brett I am just afraid of leaving and he meeting up with one of his "friends". Deep down I know he will never do this but the feeling is still there. Once you have been betrayed by someone you love there is always some thing that lingers in the back of your mind that it will happen again.

I think this weekend away will help both of us. I am going to come back on Sunday and spending the evening together and then all day on Monday - just the two of us. We will get through this rough patch. If this is the hardest thing we have to deal with between now and April the rest will be cake walk.

The Deed Is Done

So I told my finace last night that I checked his email and saw all the emails going on between him and other women. I told him the one that bothered me the most was the one from the woman that no matter how much he denies it I know he was involved with during the time he was ignoring me. He admitted to it and said the past is the past and though he is still friends with his past I am the one he wants to be with and there are reasons he is with me and not her. I asked him if the past knew about me and he said yes. Did she or does she now?

I think what bothers me the most is that I thought I would feel better about it and I actually feel worse. Not because I confronted him about it but because I violated his trust. But the question still remains: Is he violating my trust by talking to all those women the way he is or is there nothing to these conversations but internet friendships?

I am dying to check again but I have learned my lesson and refuse to do it. Hopefully he changed his password....

Time Will Only Tell

I have decided it is very hard to live with someone else when both of you are so set in your ways. One person does things one way, the other does it a completely opposite way. I am amazed at the people who can be married for years and years and become accustom to the person they are married to.

I guess you can't ask the person to change because you fell in love with those things that are different then you. But is there a way to tell them the things that bother you without hurting their feels or losing their trust?