Thursday, March 16, 2006

Return of Anxiety

All the anxiety I was feeling last fall had finally gone away and now I feel it creeping back. I guess the good thing is it is for different reasons. The anxiety in the fall stemmed from me being untrusting and checking a certain person's email and learning he was still "chatting" with his internet friends and ex-whatever you call her. We cleared everything up and I felt a little better about the whole situation (remember once you have been hurt it is really hard to be normal again). I still wonder if he is talking to these people and if they know about me and that we will be getting married in less than 6 weeks but right now that is the least of my worries.

Now my anxiety has to do with the wedding. Though I am all "caught up" on my tasks there is still a lot that needs to be done in the last month before the wedding. I am just hoping I get everything done and everyone has a good time. I guess that is the most important thing - that everyone has a good time.

As for my other issues, in the back of my mind I will always be afraid that someone is going to come along and take him from me. It has happened before why won't it happen again? But then I remember how much he loves me and that little thought goes away. Hopefully one of these days it will go away for good.

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